Re-set During #Socialdistancing

On April 29, 2020April 18, 2020 By Motivate. Innovate. Relate.In Autism, Corona Virus, COVID-19, Motivate, Sensory NeedsLeave a comment

Man laying down on steps of building during daylight hours — Man laying down on steps of building

Before #socialdistancing exercise, eating right, and balance seemed much easier. Motivation was easy – people see you. Who wants to look like a louse in public?

But as #socialdistancing extends, the leggings, carbs and time in front of the TV are preferable to almost anything else. No one wants to look at the scale.

For kids with sensory needs, this is even more important as the sensory input of a workout resets the chemistry in the brain. This helps with focus, self-control, and skill development.

Countless studies show exercise is critical to health. But there is a developing field of study in how exercise actually helps impact the neuron pathways in the brain. ABA, Occupational Therapists, even parents, can attest to the importance of a regular sensory workout program (SWP) in helping children with special needs, indeed all children, with coping, focus, and development.

How does one do this in the home? When we can’t leave?

Here are some things that work for us.

Sensory Room

A sensory room is designed to help someone regulate their brain using external sensory input. That is technical speak for “help re-center yourself.” Sensory rooms have been shown to have calming effects, help improve focus, increase socialization, and help with all sorts of development (both neurological and physical.

We discovered this importance when our son was about five. He needed a place to get all his wiggles out, calm down, and enjoy himself.

Our room is the garage. In this room, we have an art table, a basketball hoop, rock wall, ropes, and a punching bag.

This room is a place where we presently do out occupational therapy, but when it is not used for therapy, it is also a “fort” (which every kid needs). A sensory room grows with the child. This room is the “hang out” place for playdates, it is the escape from parents when angry place, and a place for a great work out for parents place as well.

Sensory Workout

No one likes working out. Even those who say they do – don’t. They like the after-effects.

That is true for our kiddos too. Working out is hard. But a necessity of life.

A sensory work out is not that different than a regular work out. I do recommend getting with your occupational therapist before starting one, as each work out is different depending on the person.

Usually, a workout will consist of some combination of proprioceptive (deep pressure to joints and calming/organizing), vestibular (excites, usually circulatory and rhythmic), touch, smell, breathing, and auditory input. It does not usually go longer than 30 minutes and can be done easily at home or at school.

We have been known to do wall push-ups and squats in grocery stores, joint pressure at restaurants and them parks, and always have some sort of audio and smell for calming wherever we go. We like citrus oils for focus before school ad lavender oils for calming after.

Sensory rest

Just as every fitness instructor will say a warm-up and cool down are important for every workout, sensory rest is just as essential for every person.

A 2018 study showed an average adult (18+ years old) spends over 11 hours a day looking at a screen. That is 45.83% of the 24-hour day. If you a lot for 8 hours of sleep (which we don’t usually get), that is 68.75% of our day in front of a screen! Is it any wonder we need a reset?

In our house, we each have space and activity that works for us.

My husband goes on long runs and he and I will do a kickboxing or boxing workout on the punching bag at least once a week (sometimes more).

My son and I like to do yoga together. The meditation and combination of proprioceptive and vestibular input are super calming. I prefer something like YogaShred where he prefers the stories of Cosmic Kids Yoga.

We also both love heavy blankets!

My son also has a tent in his room he often withdraws to where he reads, draws, plays with Lego.

I know it is hard to feel settled during #socialdistancing. It is hard during regularly scheduled programming as well. Try and find some ways this week to help re-set. Re-center. Refresh. Let me know what works for you and your kiddos or if you want some more ideas on how to use what you already have in your home to make a sensory diet.

Won’t You Be My Neighbor?

On April 21, 2020May 19, 2020 By Motivate. Innovate. Relate.In Autism, Corona Virus, COVID-19, family, Hope, Motivate, Special NeedsLeave a comment

Friendship is forever. Child with stuffed Teddy on a wooden bridge.

Hello from the inside – of the house. It seems to be the same mantra every day these days. Don’t leave the house. Don’t visit friends. Don’t be routine.

It is easy to fall into the habit of leggings and bonbons if you are not careful. But this would be devastating to both health and wellness.

So how do we have a community when we cannot leave the house?

As a parent in the special needs community, I know firsthand how essential it is to have a community – and how hard it is to find. People hear the word special needs, autism, ADHD, blindness, deafness, cancer (take your pick) and give that sappy smile and gracefully bow out of every invitation.

Now we cannot leave the house and we are still supposed to have community? This seems like an impossible task.

But there is hope!

Some simple steps to a strengthened sense of community that will lighten the atmosphere at your home and remind you that your community, neighborhood and good friends are still there…on the other side of the glass.

Zoom call with most the family - spanning three states across the country and 6 cities — Zoom call with most the family – spanning three states across the country and 6 cities

ZOOM Dates – the New Play Date

Over Easter, we usually have a lot of people over for a feast and egg hunt. My son will create some form of costume for everyone. This year he made jackrabbit hare ears for the older kids and snowshoe hare ears for the younger. We had prepped and told him this year there would be no guests at our Easter table – but he did it anyway.

When the time came for feasting, he said, “We can’t. My friends are not sick. They are coming.” To which we had to explain again, thank you #COVID-19, that this year was a celebration with just the family.

But this was eye-opening.

Our normally social only in scheduled events kid was really asking for a play date. So we did what any parent would – Zoom play date with his best friends.

This is an easy way to see faces, hear voices, and laugh with friends. Near and far. It can last as long or as little as you wish.

Make It A Game

During any phone call, it is easy to not want to chat after a few minutes. It is important to make the play date just as fun as you would if it were in your own home.

Play some games. We used dry erase boards and played Pictionary. Some other great games would be Hedbandz, Speak Out, Bingo and good old fashioned Hangman.

Some other great apps are HouseParty and FacebookKidzMessanger. The nice thing about FacebookKidzMessanger is the a parent is in control the whole time, and the kids can text between calls.

Spencer writes letters — Spencer write letters

Old Fashioned Letters

It is so nice to be able to see people’s faces and hear their voices with technology like Zoom, Google Video, and Facebook.

But there is something to be said about getting a letter or card in the mail.

You know when you get mail (that is not a bill or junk mail), your heart skips a beat and you think to yourself, “Someone thought of me! How nice.”

Kids get that feeling times 100! My son sees a piece of junk mail advertising a car and immediately states in excitement, “Guess what!? We are getting a car?!” (Yes, he missed the fine print). But the excitement is real!

Our son writes to those in the hospital, in nursing homes, his aunts, old teachers and pen-pals.

There is nothing like seeing him open his mail and immediately want to write back.

So take a minuet and remember the thrill. And encourage letter writing all around.

I know it seems like a neighbor and community are things of the past right now. I know it feels like you are alone in a new world of parenting never seen before. I know you feel lost, anxious and confused. We all do. But these little changes can really impact your health and wellness. These changes will remind your child (and yourself) you are not alone. You are never alone.

Take a minute this week and try one of these things. See how it changes your perspective. Then let me know how it worked out for you. I would love to hear your stories.

TGIF FUN Friday and How It Changed Our Homeschool World

On April 14, 2020April 5, 2020 By Motivate. Innovate. Relate.In Autism, Behavior, behavior, Corona Virus, COVID-19, family, homeschool, life, love, Motivate, optimism, screen time, Special Needs2 Comments

For those new to homeschooling, it can be very intimidating. Do we know enough? Can we have the patience? How do I balance everything?

You have come to the right place.

The last elementary school our son went to in Maryland implemented a FUN Friday routine. (Thank you, Tara, for all you do!)

When we decided to home school and work from home, we chose to implement this same thing. Using this incentive routine has been so beneficial in helping our son take responsibility for his own learning – and chores – throughout the week. For more on how to use incentives, check out this blog Let’s Make a Deal). Here is how it works:

1) Monday Start: On Monday have a checklist created of the school tasks assigned for the week. If you missed how to do this, check out last week’s blog Finding Balance: Telework and Homeschooling. Upfront, the student knows what is expected. This helps them plan their own week (a key executive function). It also reminds them their education is their own. You cannot be there all the time.

2) Four Day Week: No one wants to work more than they need. We spend two to three hours a day at school. With great focus, this is all we need for the entire week. The most we have ever needed was to spend four hours in one day. Whatever is not completed Thursday will roll over to Friday.

3) On Friday: Just because it is Friday does not mean our responsibilities cease. In the “real world,” we would still have family obligations (sometimes work depending on the schedule), and regular household tasks. The same is true for our son. The following must be completed PRIOR to FUN Friday commencing:

a. Chores complete: Who wants to play in a messy house? No one. All chores must be completed.

b. Thirty minutes outside: Sun is essential for healthy bodies. Imaginative play is essential for healthy minds. Time playing outside is a requirement. Thirty minutes is our minimum.

c. Read a book: If you have younger kids, a single kid’s book is fine. If you have older kids, depending on the book, at least one (sometimes two) chapters must be read.

d. Be Creative: Imaginative is play is important to development. Art and play are vital to many engineering skills, communication skills, and sometimes give insight into emotional health for a parent. Our son must be creative. Sometimes that is writing a comic book, building Lego, painting, or playing in clay. The options are limitless!

4) FUN Friday is here: This part of the day consists of whatever the child wants (within reason). Our son does not get a lot of screen time (see how we use it in this blog Is Screen Time Your Friend or Enemy). He usually asks for a movie. But sometimes, we use this time to go to a zoo, the aquarium, or another outing. During #socialdistancing, we do games, movies with popcorn, build forts, and so much more. The day is limited only by imagination.

We discovered this small change to education, has increased focus during school, allowed us to start teaching a new language, build on social skills, and increased our family connection in a positive way.

Now that homeschool is becoming a norm, I encourage you to try FUN Friday in your home. See how it goes for a while. Remember, you earn income, paid vacations, flex work hours for your hard work and focus at work. Let’s extend that to our children who need incentives just as much.

Finding Balance: Telework and Home School

On April 7, 2020April 5, 2020 By Motivate. Innovate. Relate.In behavior, Corona Virus, COVID-19, family, homeschool, Hope, life, love, Motivate, optimism, purpose, screen time, Special Needs2 Comments

photo-of-women-using-laptops- — photo-of-women-using-laptops

In most American schools, and the average day at school is six hours. Add in travel time, lunch, extracurriculars and this can easily become a ten-hour a day event. This is a great balance for working parents. Children are educated while parents bring home the bacon.

But this is no longer a reality.

With more people teleworking from home, and schools across the nation closed for the year, many are asking “How do I work full-time and teach my child?”

As a two-income working house, and I work 40-60-hour weeks, I understand first hand the struggle of education and income. We are a tenured homeschool family who has been schooling well before #Coronavirus or #COVID-19 were household words. So, is it possible to do both?

YES. It is a combination of art and science, but completely doable. Here is what has worked for us over the past year.

1. Meditation: We are a praying house. But not everyone is. We have found when we start our day with prayer, mediation, and/or work out (I love Yogashred), our moods are elevated, our focus is keener and our bodies are in alignment. The extra benefit is our health is taken care of prior to the health of our company. Companies are only as good as the health of their talent.

grayscale-photography-of-man-sitting-on-grass-field

2. Start Work Early: My work day starts well before most people are out of bed. This allows me a solid 3 hours to get uninterrupted and focused work completed. The earlier the start the more productive I am.

3. Have a set work time: Set hours of work where the school cannot interfere. This might mean breaking your workday into 2 two-hour segments, or 4 two-hour segments. The trick is to ensure when you focus on work, your attention is on work. When you focus on school, your attention is at school. Closing your “office door” or taping a “Do Not Distrub” sign up can be visuals for your family to stay away while at work.

writings-in-a-planner: Today is the Perfect Day to be Happy

4. Plan a Routine: We all know routine is healthy for our mentality. That is true for children as well. We give our son a weekly assignment list. This includes all worksheets, lessons, quizzes, tests he will need to complete to stay on track. This allows the kiddo to know what to expect and begin to take some independence and responsibility for their own education.

5. Work First. Play Later: When we present the weekly school task, we operate by a Fun Friday mentality (check out next week’s blog for more details). If all school is completed prior to Friday, you get Friday off. This is also beneficial for parents who work because that means Fridays your attention is not torn between work and school during “school hours.” We operate under no games, screen time, etc. until schoolwork is complete.

woman-in-grey-sleeveless-top-with-girl-on-her-lap-playing

6. Turn on music: There is tons of research on how music is both good for the soul and productivity. We use classical music or whale sounds quietly in our home while we work. This is an aural clue work is to be done. We leave the Anamainics and Lego Music for playtime.

Homeschooling is intimidating (we actually debated it for four years prior to taking the leap). Homeschooling while working is even scarier. This week, remember, this doesn’t have to be perfect. And it won’t be perfect. There will be adjustments. There will be times of frustration. There will be times of feeling like a failure.

Find what works for you and go for it. Be encouraged. You are not in this alone.

Is Screen Time Your Friend or Enemy?

There is something special about cuddling on the couch, snacking on popcorn and watching a new release (or an old favorite). Bonding over a laugh or squeezing tight during a scary scene. Priceless.

And yet, there seems to be a yin to the yang.

Behavior changes when we sit in front of a screen too long. Studies have shown too much screen time increases obesity, decreases the quality of sleep. My son seems to regress with each half-hour of TV. His attitude reflects what he watches. And, unfortunately, even educational shows like Wild Kratz displays negative behavior.

So, in a homeschool world, how do you balance the screen time?

Here is the good and bad of screen time.

animation-cartoon-cartoon-character-disney-mickey-mouse-piano-light

The Good

Children learn a lot from the screen. There is a great documentary, Life Animated, which follows a child on the spectrum who learns to speak by watching Disney movies. (Our personal experience reflects this method works).

There are numerous benefits to screentime. Children learn about social norms and cues. Film and television provide authentic and varied language that many would not pick up in a peer relationship. And most importantly, for children on the spectrum who think and see in pictures, television and film give a visual context.

The Bad

Unfortunately, there are lots of negative results of screen time. We copy what we see and hear. Kids learn and pick up so many things from the screen about dating, relationships between boys and girls, how to speak to parents and when to exercise independence. Often, this is done in a way causing harm to the cognition of the child.

Too often in American culture, we celebrate the celebrity and choice of stars and then complain about why our children act like them. We relish the drama and excitement of the racy, poor decision filled scenes; discuss and glorify them when they are not on. We wonder why our ten-year-old girls want to wear short-shorts and our boys want to curse up a storm.

HELP

So how do we find balance in the crazy that is homeschool? When our education is turning to the screen? Our free time is playing on a screen? Our family time is sitting in front of a screen? Here are three steps we use in our home that seem to work for us:

Use it as a reward. There is no reason a screen has to be on in every room for every person every day. Ensure school work, chores, playing outside, and being creative are completed prior to any screen time.
Limitation. Limit what they watch, when they watch, how long they watch. Limitations are good in all aspects of life – from what we eat to what we watch. We do not let any screens in our kiddos bedroom and use Google Chrome Cast which is mirrored from our phones to ensure we know what is watched and when it is over.
Model. Practice what you preach. If your rule is to finish work, exercise, reading, and creativity first, but your child never sees you do that – you are asking for trouble. What rules you put in place for the screen should be reflected in your own actions. Other than numerous benefits of opening up time for productivity, this allows you to show your child there is so much more to this wonderful life than the big (or little handheld) screen in front of them.

Screen time can be a wonderful tool and entertainment resource. However, it can also be the bane of your existence. May we all find balance in the world of homeschool and homework in this strange and ever-developing global situation.

On April 1, 2020March 30, 2020 By Motivate. Innovate. Relate.In Autism, Behavior, Corona Virus, COVID-19, family, homeschool, life, Motivate, screen time, Special Needs, TV, video games5 Comments

Some Where Over The Rainboots

Month: April 2020

Won’t You Be My Neighbor?

TGIF FUN Friday and How It Changed Our Homeschool World

Finding Balance: Telework and Home School

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