The phrase “Getting back to normal,” has been used a lot lately as we start to look forward to the end of #quaratine and #socialdistancing. We can’t wait to sit next to that annoying coworker, drive a car, get coffee with a friend.
As a parent in the special needs community, I hear a lot of people wishing for their child to be “normal.” If only they could play ball with their boy or go to a dance recital with their little girl. So many times, they start sentences with “If only…” or “I wish…”
We live in a generation where everything is instant. We compare ourselves, our children, and our lives to the fake world broadcast on social media. We use social media as a tool to measure “normal.”
But we do a disservice to ourselves, our children, our communities when we use this measurement. No one is normal.
I’ll say it again – NO ONE IS NORMAL.
Your spouse is not normal. Your child is not normal. You are not normal.
Those who think you are normal – HAVE NOT MET YOU.
What #socialdistancing is teaching us is patience. Patience with our family. Patience with our community. Patience with our governments. #Socialdistancing is teaching us the value of time. Time with family. Time for self-growth. Time for laughter. Time for love. #Socialdistancing is teaching us who we are – at our core when no one else is watching. We are learning who we are without the world telling us who we should be.
So, instead of wishing for normal, why don’t we celebrate the EXTRAORDINARY and look forward to what can be an amazing new normal.
1. Different Children with Different Needs: I have said it before, and will say it again. Our children are different from any other child – even siblings. What makes this world so special is the differences. Different, by definition, means NOT normal. Let’s celebrate these differences and not a world of cookie-cutter sameness. That world lacks depth, color, and beauty. That world will also never truly come to pass. It is about time we realized and embraced that.
2. Overcoming challenges: We all have challenges in life. Every one of us has overcome something – sickness, depression, addiction, self-esteem. That is a HUGE accomplishment. We should celebrate that not dwell on the past of “normal” where we lived in those things. Every kid has challenges – whether they are on the spectrum, have a special need, or are labeled “normal” or “neuro-typical” by the world. Every kid is beautiful. We should celebrate the bravery of facing those challenges. Celebrate the hard work that goes into overcoming challenges. Celebrate the stronger, more compassionate, more confident individual who comes out on the other side of those challenges.
3. Craft a new normal: As the discussion of how to “return to normal” after #socialdistancing and #quarantine start, I encourage you to stop. Stop thinking about returning. Start thinking about the future. Why would we want to return to world measured in likes, memes, and insincerity? We have been offered an amazing opportunity to do radical change in our personal lives, our community, and the world. Let us craft a new normal. A normal of Love. A normal of Compassion. A normal of Encouragement. Let us stop measuring normal and start celebrating the uniqueness, bravery and beautiful creature that is the individual in the mirror, sitting next to us, across from us, or passing by.
I know it is easy to crave “normal.” We want to have a routine, to have a semblance of balance, to want what we know. But humans have NEVER been called to accept the status quo. We have never been called to be complacent. We are mechanisms of change.
We have been offered an unprecedented opportunity to cultivate incredible change for good. It is our responsibility to let go of the “old normal” and embrace the “new normal.” Let us re-prioritize our life to honor this opportunity. Celebrate the gift that has been so lavishly poured out upon us – time with family, getting back to basics, being real with each other and ourselves. As we move forward to “new normal,”” I pray we keep this in mind and look forward to the incredible change for good in how we treat each other and ourselves.