How easy is it to get lost in the planning, gifting, and chaos of the holiday season? Do you find yourself exhausted? Overwhelmed? Anxious? Is the holiday season taking over your life (and not in a good way)?
I completely understand. The demands placed on people during the holiday sometimes seemed completely unrealistic. This can be especially true for deployed or separated families, single parents, parents of special needs children, and single people. It is so easy to get lost in the chaos.
How do we get out of the funk the demands can place us in? Change our focus. Stop thinking of “me”, and start thinking of others. If you are still having a little trouble getting into the season, try some old family traditions.
Part of the fun of the holidays is the books and movies that get pulled of the shelf and dusted off to enjoy. Growing up, my mom used to read The Best Christmas Pageant Ever to kick off the season. My dad would read Luke 1 to us prior to opening any presents. It was in these calm moments the real meaning of the season came alive.
I have continued this tradition in my own home. It is so special to pass this on to my kid and husband. These memories require no money, just quality time with those you love. When my husband was deployed during the holidays, this was one of the things he missed most about not being home. This is also what helps me stay grounded in the chaos when things start to get overwhelming.
So, I invite you to slow down with us this Christmas season. Enjoy a cup of hot cocoa, snuggle up (perhaps by a fire), and enjoy these fun movies and stories. May they bring you as much joy as they have our family.
I loved winter break as a kid, a student, and as an adult. I love the opportunity to take some time to reset, renew, and rejuvenate before the new year begins.
This time of year offers a great opportunity to reconnect with family and friends (something I think we all need more of this year). It also offers the ability to slow down; remembering this time of year is not about us.
Winter break is also notorious for creating conflict with children, turn off our brains, getting out of routine, and all-around can be a formula for disaster (something no one wants more of this year).
We have learned for our winter refreshment some simple steps that decrease conflict and increase the quality time (all while keeping our brains fresh and working for the coming semesters).
Set a routine: It is really easy to let our kids run amok during school breaks. After all, it is vacation time, right? Ture, but when you plan a vacation to Disney World or on a cruise, you have an itinerary. Why would you not have a similar concept for your stay-cations? We have found that even the littlest routine is in place, behavior and attitude are much better all around. Our vacation routine consists of ensuring all chores are completed, some reading is done, some time outside playing, and perhaps a craft is done before turning to any computer or television screen. For some more tips on screen time, check out my blog Is Screen Time Your Friend or Enemy?
2. Join a Reading Program: Words have power.Books have power. For those who follow me closely, it should come as no surprise I incorporate reading into our lives – even on vacation. A great way to incentive this (and keep our brains working), is to join a reading program. This is a great way to keep kids (and adults) reading year-round, but especially during school breaks. Many local libraries have winter break challenges. We particularly like Beanstack. This site allows you to find local reading challenges near you (or create your own). Many challenges have tangible rewards.
3. Plan at least 1 outing a week: Many are averse to this for money’s sake and others are adverse to this for COVID-19 sake. I understand both of these. However, neither should prevent you from getting outside and enjoying the beautiful world around you. For those concerned about money, many zoos and museums offer great deals for the year for family memberships. For those worried about COVID-19, a hiking trail is a great way to be outside, seeing nature and enjoying the beauty around you. Either way, getting outside your home once a week during the break prevents Cabin Fever from setting in and taking over.
4. Give a Project: This should be something they can do in the allotted time. Projects offer a way to feel productive and successful at the end of the break. More importantly, if you help your child with the project, it can be a great time for bonding and making memories. Some projects to consider for winter breaks: rearranging the room and painting it (let them choose the color and help); painting a scene or picture onto a canvas, building a new bookshelf (or re-purposing furniture). For those with younger children, some projects might be arts and crafts, sorting through toys they no longer want, writing a comic book, or a story with illustrations. If your child plays an instrument, this is a great time to give a new song to practice and then a recital at the end of the two weeks to celebrate.
5. Schedule Active Family Time: I love family time. My family tries to set apart an hour a day to just be with family – no screens, no phones, no distractions. But, that can be difficult (especially with my and my husband’s jobs). How do we manage? We set a specific time and put our phones on silent or away (we do have to keep them out sometimes due to the nature of work). Then, we let our son pick the activity. Often he picks games (we like games a lot in my family). Sometimes he picks art or going for a walk or bike ride. Then we do that. It is our time to invest in each other. Some of our favorite family games are Shut the Box, Speak Out, Apples to Apples, Quiddler, Phase 10, Uno, Pictureak, Boggle, Scrabble, Concept, Clue, and Sorry.
We are hoping this winter break is full of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control. May these simple tips be as useful to you as they have been for us. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good break! Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from our family to yours.
Happy Halloween! Belated as it might be. I apologize for the silence the past two weeks – technical issues abounded. All bugs have been sorted and we should be fully operational. Thank you for being patient with me.
This month is all about gratitude. Thankfulness. Something most Americans, and I would wager most first-world citizens, are in desperate need of.
This past month, as a mom of an adolescent, I found myself often frustrated by the poor choices my son made. It felt like no matter what we as parents did, my son was determined to make poos choices. My son was successful in breaking something every – single – day for one week straight. Dealing with crazy work demands and trying to figure out how to balance everyone’s needs seemed more complicated than usual.
Honestly, there were some days it felt hopeless. I felt the world against me. I felt frustrated with the special needs I have to deal with, the demands of work for both myself and my husband. I felt very alone. But that is never the case, is it?
So, how do we pull ourselves out of these dark moments as moms and dads? How do we remind ourselves of the enormous amounts of blessings that are part of our lives daily? How do we develop a Gratitude Attitude?
Here are my five steps to having a Gratitude Attitude as a parent, and for life:
PERSPECTIVE: Did you know, according to an article published by Anup Shah in 2013, at least 80% of humanity lives on less than $10 a day ($3,640 annually)? Almost 2 in 3 people lack access to clean water to survive on less than $2 a day ($884 annually)? More than 660 million people without sanitation live on less than $2 a day? More than 385 million live on less than $1 day ($364 annually)? Or that 1.6 billion people (1/4 humanity) live without electricity? The stats are a bit outdated, but the principle remains the same. The first world has champagne problems.
As I write this, I am sipping my fair trade Laughing Man coffee (super yummy), my son is creating art with actual paper and pencils and we are enjoying a beautiful sunny cool fall day on the deck in our backyard. We have a wonderful home, a beautiful big yard, and my husband and I both have jobs. Our bellies are always full, and we can pull out water from any faucet (or our fridge) whenever the notion strikes. And my son had enough in our house to break something every single day in one week and still, our house functioned just fine. I find a gratitude attitude starts with the right mind set – reset your mind.
2. RENEW YOUR MIND: If you are like me at all, what you watch, read, scroll through, etc. all affect your state of mind. When I watch scary movies, I get scared. When I focus on the negative comments in a scroll, my mind is negative. When I read an intense book, my anxiety rises. We need to renew our minds – start treating them like we do our bodies.
Just like a healthy body needs exercise and quality food nutrition, a mind needs exercise and quality food nourishment. Reading is essential to renewing your mind. Don’t just read novels (though I like those). I find reading historical books, world solution books, and culture books help me to see the world from another’s perspective more. I have attached some of my favorite books to help get you started in this.
3. MEDITATE: This sounds New Age and for some a little hippie, but what a difference it makes! Most people picture meditation as sitting on a yoga mat with your feet crossed and saying,” om,” in a quiet voice. There is so much more to it. Meditation is simply the practice of focusing your mind. What you focus on is just as important. Focusing on whatever is true, beautiful, pure, lovely, admirable, think on these things. For those who pray, this is a great time for that. I find doing this throughout my day is beneficial to keeping my mind in a good place. There are a lot of apps that can help make this a daily practice. I like Calm and the Abide podcast.
4. WORKOUT I try to do a 30-60-minute workout four times a week. Ideally, we should be moving our bodies cardiovascularly at least 30 minutes a day, but in life, I find that is not always possible. I have a love-hate relationship with working out. I hate the getting started part…and doing the workout part. But, I love how I feel when I am done. I find I feel less stressed, more energized, and sleep so much better. There are other benefits to working-out too – higher happiness levels, better success setting and meeting goals, improved memory, and concentration and so much more.
5. GET OUT IN NATURE: In a world of computer screens, tablets, phones, and social media, we often forget the importance of getting outside. So often, people get their dose of nature from a documentary in the comfort of their own home. But that does not have all the same benefits of actually walking outside, getting sun on your face, and enjoying the sights and sounds around you.
There is a great article, The Positive Effects of Nature on Your Mental Well-being, published on October 16, 2020, that goes in-depth into the numerous benefits of nature. Here are just some of the highlights. Nature helps emotional well being, and memory focus (for those with special needs kids, this is a wonderful FREE tool). Nature lowers stress and helps those suffering from depression. Nature walks and other outdoor activities help build attention and focus. This is a great way to spend time with the family and increase school focus later. And one recent study shows spending more time outside and less time in front of a computer can help increase our problem-solving and creative thinking.
6. CHOSE JOY: This may sound the simplest, but it can be the hardest. It is so easy to get bogged down in the nitty-gritty of life – the doctor’s appointments, the tantrums, the politics of the world, the pandemic. There is so much negative out there. It is easier to find the negative and focus on that than it is really to choose joy. This is different than happiness (a fleeting feeling). Joy is a deeper peace and understanding that it is good in the world. Good will win. Joy is actively counting our blessings and naming them one by one. This is hard in a society where we judge each other instantaneously on 15 different social media platforms. This is hard when everyone’s voice is fighting to be heard. This is hard when we encourage the negative in our feeds. To make this a higher priority in my life, I have ceased actively participating in social media – outside of this blog and its Facebook page. Oh, sweet relief! Oh, calmer and happier self! I highly recommend at least a social media fast for a bit and see how it affects your mental and emotional state.
Having a gratitude attitude is not always an easy process. It is often contrary to our society’s love for drama, negatively, and sin – let’s call it what it is. Our society has been constructed to be all about Me and less about others. When we change our perspective to helping others and focusing our minds on what is true, noble, pure, and good, it is amazing how grateful we are. It is amazing how truly blessed we are. It is amazing how these small actions can change our lives for the better forever.
For more tips and tricks on how to have a gratitude attitude, check out my Facebook page.