Tag: Special Needs

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7 Service Projects to Invest in This New Year

On By Motivate. Innovate. Relate.In Motivate, new year's resolution, service/volunteering, Special NeedsLeave a comment
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For those who have followed my site for a while, you know I am really into service.  For several reasons, I have found service to be beneficial to my family and community.  In a post-COVID world where everyone is worried about health and wellness, I would argue that a great way to stay healthy is to serve.  Serving feels good, can bring a sense of belonging, reduces isolation, and brings perspective to our situations.   For those who home school, we have found it a great way to create relationships and socialize.

Many I have spoken with have told me they want to serve, think it is a great way for them to invest in their communities, and even to help their kids with school and life perspectives.  But, they have no idea where to start. 

I recommend what my dad recommends, “Find something worth dying for and go live for it.” But how do you do that?  You have to get out there.  You have to look for it.  What gets your blood boiling when you see injustice?  What makes you want to cry when you see someone downhearted?  What moves you when you hear the story?  These are good questions to ask when you search for a service project.

In my nearly 30 years of service, I have served in every capacity from food closets to first responders and from human trafficking to military organizations.  Here are just 10 ways I have found you and your family can get involved and serve together:

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1. Your local church: If you are stuck, the church, any church, is always in need of volunteers.  For the nearly 2/3’s of Americans who follow some religion, your local church, mosque, or temple is a great way to serve.  Help in the nursery or Sunday School; visit the shut-ins who do not get out bringing a meal or a book and spend time with them;  business-oriented people can lend that service to the non-profit and help with taxes or construction or facilities management.  There is no area a volunteer would not be welcome.

Credit: Monique Burr Foundation for Children

2. Human Trafficking: This is a growing industry with serious consequences.  Take a look at these stunning statistics reported by The High Court:

  • In 2019, 62% of victims in the US were identified as sex trafficking victims. 
  • One in eight endangered runaway youths is likely to be the victim of human trafficking.
  • 30% of trafficking victims are children.

So how can you help?  First, educate yourself in your local area.  If there is presently not a human trafficking task force in your local area, I suggest working with your local police to see what it takes to start one.  If you want to raise awareness and funds for non-profits on the front line, these are great organizations: International Justice Mission, Dressember, and Project Rescue. 

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3. Food Closets:  According to Save the children, today, an estimated 17 million children are struggling with hunger in America – 6 million more than before the pandemic. And 2.7 million more families are going hungry. One of the best times of my life was when I was interning with a food closet.  Here you see people at their lowest.  But the heart of those serving is so inspiring.  Often, they would give more than required simply because they saw a need.  With many people out of work or underemployed now due to COVID-19, food closets are so important.  If it is a choice between keeping a roof over your head or food in your belly, many choose the roof and children go hungry.  These awesome community organizations help keep families together.  But more than that, many also help to pay utilities and provide classes on budgeting and finances to help people get back on their feet. Going to the closet too much?  Join and support the countless local and nationwide organizations that deliver food to families and senior citizens like Meals on Wheels.

“This whole generation of young people coming up are smart, thoughtful, and sophisticated.” – B.Obama

4. Youth Organizations: In a tech-savvy world, many think youths are self-centered and demand recognition instantaneously.  Although there is some truth in that, it does not consider the reason for it.  So many youths do not have a mentor or parent in their lives.  They are desperate for someone to take interest in them letting them know they are valuable.  One in four live without a biological, step, or adoptive father in the home.  Without a father, kids are four times more likely to be at risk of poverty, seven times more likely to become pregnant as a teen, more likely to face abuse, neglect, abuse drugs and alcohol, have behavior problems, suffer obesity commit a crime and drop out of high school!  So, take a stand and invest in youth.  Volunteer at your local youth group or Boys and Girls Club, volunteer next to them through Feeding America or DoSomething.org.   There are so many options!

5. Build a House: In the US alone, in January 2020, there were 580,466 people experiencing homelessness in America (which has only increased since COVID-19). This is often a forgotten or ignored segment of society full of veterans, single parents, often working people who just cannot afford rent, foster kids who have aged out of the system, and many youths.  Instead of ignoring the problem, take the time to help.  We try to have a little extra something with us when we go out to eat to pass on to the man or woman living on the street, or (as my son taught me), when we see them and have no food, we give the sunscreen or bug spray I always keep in the car.  I have a friend who buys socks in bulk and hands them out (especially helpful during the cold months).  It is easy and helpful.  It also changes your perspective on life quickly. If you want something bigger, volunteer with Habitat for Humanity or another organization and see the impact you make firsthand.

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6. Veteran Organizations: Veterans signed up to do the dirty work of freedom for you.  Sometimes that means being away from families for lengthy periods of time.  Sometimes that means giving up holidays and birthdays.  Sometimes that means giving a life.  The life of a soldier is difficult and often comes with lifelong battles of healing (be it mind, body, or soul).  Give back to those who sacrificed for you.  Volunteer at the local VFW or DAVE.  Adopt a family whose parent is deployed by bringing a meal and hanging out once a week or month.   Small things go a long way with these families.

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7. Special Needs Organizations: Many who follow this blog are parents/relatives of those with special needs.  If you spend any time with someone with this “label,” you immediately learn how wonderful, intelligent, and genuine they are.  You also learn how ostracized and lonely they are.  These people have so much to give.  Take the time to get to know them and help them.  Animal therapy is great for all needs (physical/mental/emotional).  Or help someone get the service animal and training needed for their daily living activities. A great organization to learn more about what this looks like is Ohana K9. Art therapy is another great way to get involved and help.  For those looking for a little more, check out Love Volunteers which has volunteer opportunities worldwide.  

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8. Bonus – Donate:  If the above does not get you excited, then there is always the donation option.  For those minimizing and cleaning out closets, this is a great time to donate your gently loved clothing, toys, books, and more to an organization that can make their impact increase.  So many organizations will come to pick up your donations to make it that much easier. 

Often our new year resolutions are self-focused.  There is nothing wrong with wanting to self-improve.  But, perhaps we take it a bit further this year and help others?  We can be the change we want to see in the world.  We can be the solution.  I encourage you to take the extra step this year and really enjoy serving our communities and families.   Together we can make this world a better place. 

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6 Ways to Make Your New Year’s Resolution Work For You

On By Motivate. Innovate. Relate.In goals, Motivate, Sensory Needs, Special Needs2 Comments
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The new year has begun and goal setting and resolutions are upon us.  The new year offers a time of reflection and retrospection.  The new year offers a fresh start and a great opportunity to create a better life for us and those around us.

According to Forbes, for 2021, the “most popular New Year’s resolutions are about self-improvement (living healthier 23% of people, getting happy 21%, losing weight 20%, exercising 7%, stopping smoking 5%, reducing drinking 2%). In addition, people resolve to meet career or job goals (16%) and improve their relationships (11%).”  Of those working out falls into three of those top goals (a whopping 50%). 

According to FSU News, “on average, 80% of New Year’s resolutions fail by the second week of February…it takes approximately 66 days for a habit to become automatic.”

So how do we combat this huge obstacle and make our resolution to be healthier happier people come true? Here are six steps I have taken to help me in the past and present.

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Be Realistic:  Do not set yourself up to fail.  Be realistic in goal setting.  If you have never worked out, it is highly unlikely you will work out six days a week an hour and a half. You likely won’t lose 50 lbs in three months.  Set a goal that works for you.  A good goal will be SMART. The more specific and measurable a goal, the better.  Want more?  Check out this blog on 10 goal setting steps to success

  • Specific.
  • Measurable.
  • Attainable.
  • Relevant.
  • Time-Bound.
Photo by Jess Bailey Designs on Pexels.com

Set a routine: The hardest part of a resolution (or any goal), is to incorporate it into your already hectic routine.  By creating a routine where your goal is a part of it, you are more likely to be able to attain your goals.  According to Northwestern Medicine, routines are essential to a healthy lifestyle.  Routines will help reduce stress, increase sleep, give better health, and set a good example for your children.

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Get accountability/work out partner: Progress is never made alone.  We need each other.  Find a friend or partner in your goal.  This will help increase serotonin when you work out or work on your goal because you will be doing it with a friend.  This friend can also help keep you accountable on days you don’t want to work toward your goals (and we all know there will be those days).  Exercising with a friend is just more fun and it helps build your friendship. By including an accountability partner, you are more likely to stick to your goals and succeed.  You typically work harder when someone else is around (because they are watching you) and it brings out the competitive side and spurs you on.  Working out with a friend can be cheaper by splitting the cost of the trainer/equipment.  Your accountability partner may have new ideas to bring.  And, it just safer – you want a spotter on those weights or someone to run those trails.

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Track Progress: I have said it before and will say it again.  Without a way to track the progress, you can get very discouraged – especially with weight loss.  Muscle weighs more than fat, so that scale may climb before it falls.  Have a way to track your progress toward your goal.  I like this habit tracker for my goals.  But, for weight loss goals, I find tracking with a picture to be more satisfying.  It shows the way the body changes over time rather than a scale that just reflects gravity.

habit-trackerDownload
Photo by Spencer Davis on Pexels.com

Eat Healthily: We all know we should eat healthily, but we typically do not. The words themselves just make it sound like salads and bland food or processed protein shakes for the rest of our lives.  BORING! But, healthy food is the opposite! Eating healthy just means incorporating colors into your diet.  Get away from processed foods and enjoy the great taste of vegetables and fruits.  Don’t snack on chips, snack on berries.  Don’t eat bread three meals a day.  Replace at least two of those servings with veggies.  Vegetables are so versatile you can have a different dish with a different flavor every night of the week for months. Limit the sugar and salt.  Enjoy the garden God gave us. You will be surprised how good it all is!

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Drink Water: This is probably the most simple and overlooked tip in getting a healthy habit started.  Water is so beneficial to our bodies.  It helps our bodies process every system.  It helps our skin stay brighter.  It helps us look younger.  So, instead of that second cup of coffee, drink a glass of water.  Have water before a meal, and you will eat less.  Bored with water, add some flavor.  I like to flavor mine with lemon, kiwi, mango, and other fruit flavors.  Water doesn’t have to be boring.

Photo by Kamaji Ogino on Pexels.com

Stretch: This one is often forgotten when people talk about working out.  It is also often forgotten in most classes at the gym.  If there is no stretch in the workout class, do one on your own.  Research shows time and again, stretching is good for you. The Mayo Clinic provided stretching:

  • Improve your performance in physical activities
  • Decrease your risk of injuries
  • Help your joints move through their full range of motion
  • Enable your muscles to work most effectively

Research also shows stretching can relieve post-exercise aches and pains (we all hate day two of a workout routine), improve posture, and manage stress better.  So take the time to stretch daily.  This is a great way to help relax at the end of the day as well.

New Year’s Resolutions are great ways to get us towards goals.  But they are only as good as the effort put in.  If your goal is like half of America to live a healthier happier lifestyle, then try these six steps to ensure success.

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Slow Down this Season: Christmas Movies and Books for the Whole Family

On By Motivate. Innovate. Relate.In christmas, family, Motivate, Special NeedsLeave a comment
Every time a bell rings, an angel gets its wings.

How easy is it to get lost in the planning, gifting, and chaos of the holiday season? Do you find yourself exhausted? Overwhelmed? Anxious? Is the holiday season taking over your life (and not in a good way)?

I completely understand. The demands placed on people during the holiday sometimes seemed completely unrealistic. This can be especially true for deployed or separated families, single parents, parents of special needs children, and single people. It is so easy to get lost in the chaos.

How do we get out of the funk the demands can place us in? Change our focus. Stop thinking of “me”, and start thinking of others. If you are still having a little trouble getting into the season, try some old family traditions.

Part of the fun of the holidays is the books and movies that get pulled of the shelf and dusted off to enjoy. Growing up, my mom used to read The Best Christmas Pageant Ever to kick off the season. My dad would read Luke 1 to us prior to opening any presents. It was in these calm moments the real meaning of the season came alive.

I have continued this tradition in my own home. It is so special to pass this on to my kid and husband. These memories require no money, just quality time with those you love. When my husband was deployed during the holidays, this was one of the things he missed most about not being home. This is also what helps me stay grounded in the chaos when things start to get overwhelming.

So, I invite you to slow down with us this Christmas season.  Enjoy a cup of hot cocoa, snuggle up (perhaps by a fire), and enjoy these fun movies and stories. May they bring you as much joy as they have our family.

Enjoy the little things – be a kid at heart.

MOVIES

Snuggle up with a good book for the holidays.

BOOKS

I do hope these give you as much joy as they have our family.  What are some of your favorite Christmas traditions?

For more fun Christmas traditions, check out my Facebook page.

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Quick Easy Thanksgiving Recipes

On By Motivate. Innovate. Relate.In america, Autism, family, gratitude, Motivate, thankful, thanksgiving1 Comment

I love Thanksgiving. I love that we take time out of the craziness that is life to be grateful; to say thank you; to enjoy our family, friends, and loved ones. This is something I have purposed to do throughout the year but love that I get a day to do just that. What a wonderful tradition!

Photo by Karolina Grabowska on Pexels.com

I hope you do take time to slow down, reflect, and give thanks this Thanksgiving. For some steps on how to get a gratitude attitude (or just some good family ideas), check out my blog on 6 easy steps to a gratitude attitude. 

But today, I want to talk about food! Although I love the family, memories, and time to slow down, I love (and my whole family) love the food!

My husband and son love the holiday for the delicious tastes and aromas that flood our home. I love the day for the family, the downtime, and the movies. I love snuggling by the fire after a delicious meal and enjoying time with family, friends, and loved ones.

In that spirit, today I wanted to share some good recipes for the big day. I am lucky and Hubby does the turkey (and sometimes ham depending on the number of guests we have). Sides, however, are typically up to me. Here are the top recipes we use that get an ovation every year.

Quick colorful appetizers

APPETIZERS

Appetizers are so fun! But can be so time-consuming. They are the unsung heroes of the holiday. They waken the pallet and give something for little hands to do while they wait. But kids are fussy (and so are adults around this time of year). Here are a couple of easy appetizers we use for Thanksgiving that add color and are still healthy and easy.

  • Onion Dip (sometimes we make our own, sometimes we buy – depending on the time we have) or Hummus (there is a great recipe in Brain Food Cookbook) with sliced bell pepper, snap peas, broccoli, and carrots
  • Yogurt (we use the Brain Food recipe for ferments which takes 24 hours; if you do not have that time, use almond or coconut yogurt from the store) with sliced apples of all colors coated in a little lemon juice to prevent browning.
  • Tortilla Rolls: As the GIF above shows, this is so good, quick, and brings color to what can easily become a brown table. Just some spinach tortilla rols, sliced bell pepers, spinach, carrots, and I use red onion with a touch of hummas (or your favorite spread), rolled, sliced into one-inch pieces, and set out beautifully. This is easy finger food that will make even the fussiest people happy.
Side Dish Stuffing

SIDES

Sides can make or break a meal. Ever have a fantastic main dish that only found the accompanying side lacks luster? It can be what drops a review from five stars to three. Here are a few of my favorite unsung heroes of Thanksgiving:

  • Carrots are amazing! But become the ugly duckling next to green beans each year. Although I have grown to like green beans, carrots are my go-to for sides. I use them in everything from carrot fries (as I discovered in this gem for Autism/ADD recovering as well as Paleo/SCD/GAPS dieters) to quick on-the-go snacks without the mess.  
  • When oven and stovetop space is limited, I love this slow cooker recipe for cinnamon sugar-glazed carrots.  I use ghee or plant-based butter instead of regular butter. If I have the space, I truly enjoy this quick brown butter garlic honey-roasted carrots recipe. 20 minutes tops and you have a great yummy side that everyone will talk about.
  • I love mashed potatoes (and so do most of my friends and family). This staple is easy to make with a touch of almond milk. I dress mine up (depending on the day) with herbs and spices including. I like to throw in a touch of garlic and thyme for extra spice. I have also enjoyed replacing potatoes with cauliflower. This is an easy quick recipe for those who do not do potatoes.
Vegetable salads are colorful ways to brighten a meal

SALADS

You cannot go wrong with a good salad. For those traveling and needing to bring a dish, these are quick tasty dishes. With all the treats around the day, a healthy salad is, not only welcome, but needed, colorful, and can tie a meal together. Here are our quick recipes:

  • Chicken Salad:  All you need is to cut lettuce, apples, strawberries, and red onion. Combine that with roasted or baked chicken cut into one-inch slices and your choice of dressing (we like the brand G Hughes and Skinny Girl) and voila! Colorful dish everyone will like.
  • Broccoli Cranberry: This is a fun twist on the traditional salad. Mix steamed broccoli heads, almonds (optional), and cranberries. Sometimes we add chicken or bacon bits (these are easy and do not require additional cook time). We sometimes add onion and sometimes add bell pepper for color. Mix and you are done.   
  • If I am feeling super fun, I use a broccoli grapefruit, and avocado salad. All these mixed with a touch of green onion or shallots and yum yum!
Desserts they want to sneak after dinner

DESSERTS

Now to my favorite thing about the Thanksgiving meal – desserts! I love a nice warm cup of coffee or tea and a sweet dessert. Add in a fireplace and great company and you get a touch of Heaven. Here are just a few desserts (because I do love all things sweet) that I enjoy for Thanksgiving. Oh, who am I kidding? All year round!

  • I like pumpkin pie for Thanksgiving. I have loved this recipe from Betty Crocker for Pumpkin Cream Cheese pie.  It is easy but prepare to have the pie sit in your fridge for 4 hours before you can cut into it.
  • If you are like me, sweet things are the Achilles heel. So, I love to make individual size things so the sweet is there without the regret later. This is a great recipe for apple pie bites that do not take a lot of time.
  • What good is warm without ice cream? I love to blend frozen bananas, almond milk, and frozen strawberries (no green), vanilla, or melted chocolate (the flavors are limitless) to have a fun tasty dairy-free option. Using a blender, this delicious treat is ready in minutes and does not require the bulkiness of traditional ice cream makers.

There are so many delightful things to enjoy at Thanksgiving. I hope this small list can help make things a bit easier when planning to be at home or travel.

I do hope you have a great Thanksgiving. May the road rise to meet you. May the wind be ever at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face (Luke 1:78); the rains fall soft upon your fields and until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of his hand (John 10:27-28). Happy Thanksgiving from our family to yours.

For more on Thanksgiving treats and ways to celebrate, check out my Facebook page.

9 Steps to Preventing and Stopping the Meltdowns and Tantrums

On By Motivate. Innovate. Relate.In Autism, behavior, goals, homeschool, Motivate, Special Needs1 Comment

When people meet my son, they are often taken aback to learn he has a special need.  We are often complimented on how well behaved he is and how polite.  But, life was not always that way.

When our son was younger, could not speak at age five, and could not communicate to us anything without grunts, hitting, and kicking, we often felt like Annie Sullivan with Helen Keller. 

Helen Keller’s first experience with Anne Sullivan (an ABA therapist if ever I saw one)

One Christmas, when he was younger, I remember walking into a store and my son pulling the most epic of tantrums because he could not get the toy he wanted.  This was literally five minutes into walking into the store.

He threw himself on the floor, kicking, thrashing about, and screaming like a banshee.  Words did not help. 

The stares started.  The condescending looks.  My husband and I were faced with a choice: give in and get him what he wanted so badly or stand our ground.

I am stubborn…we stood our ground.

My son did not expect what I did next.  My husband continued with the shopping trip while I hauled our son (kicking and screaming) back to the car. I then put him in his seat, shut the door, and stood outside in the safety and relative peace and quiet.

My son spent the next 15 minutes kicking, screaming, and hitting everything he could reach, in the safety of the car and seat.  I was there ready to open the door at any moment should he become unsafe, or once he calmed down.  The windows were rolled down a bit (all safety precautions were met).

Once he calmed down (and stopped seeing red), my husband and I were able to talk to him about his behavior and how that was unacceptable.

This was our turning point. This was when I began to dig into every parenting book for strong-willed children I could get my hands on, every podcast, Ted Talk, everything I could find out about our son’s needs, how his brain worked, and how we could help him overcome the challenges he was born with.

Here are the top 9 things we learned about how to prevent and stop meltdowns, tantrums, and mayhem.

1.       Start Small: If your child is anything like mine, then you probably want to tackle everything at once.  Potty training.  Tantrums. Cleaning. Manners.  Unfortunately, we do not learn that way. Pick one to three things you want to focus on.  We chose behavior in a store and classroom and transitions from preferred to non-preferred activities.  

2.       Prep: So often I hear of parents who cave in the market check out line when their child starts a tantrum.  Or parents tell me of how exhausted they are from calls from the school and parent-teacher conferences.  I get it.  We could time the first call from the school to the exact day in the school year (Monday week three).  We once had three parent-teacher conferences in the first week and a half of school.  What we learned, prep.  Prep the child with what is expected of them and what they will earn if they accomplish it. Prep the teachers what is expected of both child and teacher.  Teachers have to be on board.  We had a system where I texted the teacher daily what our son was earning and the expectations.  This was helpful for consistency throughout the day.

3.       Be Consistent: I am a big proponent of this and will say it again.  Consistency is key.  If your child thinks he plays a parent against the other, if she thinks she can get away with something at school and not at home, if a child sees a weakness in defenses anywhere – they will exploit it! Be consistent and work as a team.

4.       Incentivize: I get the most push-back on this.  “I don’t want to bribe my child.”  “I don’t want my child thinking they get a treat just for making choices expected of them.”  “I don’t want to bribe my child.” I get that.  First, an incentive is not a bribe.  A bribe is reactionary – an in the moment choice: “If you stop throwing a fit, then I will get you the candy you are hollering about.”  This teaches the child that enough public humiliation for you as the parent gets them what they want.  An incentive is a contract.  A contract between parent and child of what is expected on both sides.  If you keep your hands in your pocket in the store/if you use please and thank you/if you finish your homework without asking, then you get a balloon/piece of candy/star on your chart.  This is actually a great way to start teaching finances and economy as this is a practice we adults use daily.  Work an hour and I will pay you $10.00, don’t complete the work well, and you are fired. Instead of hourly work, they are doing task work – like an independent contractor.

5.       Diet: Food affects behavior.  Food was not something we originally tracked. I am so glad we did.  By tracking his food, in combination with behavior, we learned that within 24 hours (to the minute) of having dairy, our son would have very negative behavior.  We learned that when he ate a lot of processed food, high sugar foods, his focus decreased and his attitude was negative. We later learned this was because he was having stomach issues (he couldn’t tell us his stomach hurt).  A great cookbook that helped us get started on a healthier diet for him is The Brain Food Cook Book, written by a mom of a special need’s kiddo.  I have to say, some of our favorite recipes are in this book, and the tips on how to do this without breaking the bank and how the brain works is incredible.  Our son’s neurologist concurred and said it was because of his diet and his oxidated stress regime, our son did not need medication for his migraines and other neurological issues.

6.       Medication: If you can avoid it, I personally recommend avoiding medication.  In our experience, when Kennedy Krieger doctors told us they don’t know enough about the need and effect of medication long-term on children, we were very hesitant.  However, the school system we were in at the time, told us without medication they would not teach our child.  The daycare echoed this.  (NOTE: This is not legal, and we should have fought it, but didn’t know at the time we could).  The medication prescribed was only approved in adults with heart conditions.  The bi-product was helping with behavior in children, but no long-term studies had been done.  We later learned (three years on the mediation), that there were studies showing his medication could lead to cancer long term.  They did help.  If that is what you think is best for your child, do what is best for your child. 

7.       Oxidated Stress: This an imbalance of free radicals and antioxidants in the body, which can lead to cell and tissue damage.  This occurs naturally.  There are some peer-reviewed studies showing this affects everything from thyroids (almost 5,000), cancers (nearly 90,000), ADHD (nearly 2,000), and Autism (nearly 3,000). How do you combat this naturally occurring process? Fruits and vegetables are a start.  We also switched to “clean” cleaning products (chemical free), decreased screen time, and increased time outside. We incorporated Protandim into our life.  After a month on this vitamin, our son’s monthly to quarterly ER visits for stomach migraines decreased to none in the past three years, our son’s focus and attention increased (he is 11 reading at a ninth-grade level and taking a college music course), and he has been completely off medication for three years (taken off under the care of his physician).  We get ours from Life Vantage (patented formula).

8.       Track: It is important to only start one behavioral change at a time.  Introducing too many variables at once will not let you know which ones do anything.  We started with diet, then added medication, then dealt with oxidated stress – which eventually got him completely off medication.  Track measurable things – how often the school calls, grades, attention while reading, how long it takes to complete a task. Below are some great resources we used, and use, to help us. I recommend making them editable and laminating them. This reduces waste and allows you modify based on age and behavior. Dry erase markers work great on these.

habit-trackerDownload
weekly-calendar-tracking-1Download

9.       Celebrate and Recycle: Celebrate the win! Talk with your child about how proud you are of their progress. Celebrate the hard work it took them to accomplish that goal. Then, start the process over on a new behavior or more advanced behavior.  Humans should never stop learning and growing.  This is especially important for children.  When one thing is mastered, move on to the next level or new behavior. 

For more ideas on how to help avoid meltdowns and mayhem, take a look at my Facebook page.

14 Steps to Thriving at an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) Meeting

On By Motivate. Innovate. Relate.In Autism, IEP, Motivate, parenting, school, Sensory Needs, Special NeedsLeave a comment

It is October.  That time of year where days get shorter, nights get longer, and we are all a bit more aware of what goes bump in the night.

October was also the time of year my family would go through the Individualized Education Plan (IEP) process.  It was always a stressful, and sometimes scary part of our month.  As we focus on things that are scary this month in the lives of of our kiddos, we are going to tackle how to be successful at this.

IEPs can either be a Godsend or the worse hour(s) of your life that year.   We have been through both.  High Roads School in Maryland is excellent!  California and Florida, we had some significant struggles.  We have had successes and failures. 

Background: IEP’s are designed to make the learning experience beneficial to all students.  After all, we are different children with different needs.  A team of administrators, teachers, specialists, and parents work collaboratively to help the child succeed academically. When it works, it is a phenomenal process.

Problem:  IEP meetings seldom work collaboratively and, for a parent unaware of the bureaucracy of the district can be very overwhelming and frustrating.

How do we survive these necessary yearly meetings, while ensuring our children thrive? Here is what I have learned having done IEPs in three different states across America.

Track Progress in all aspects of life

1.       Track Progress:  If you have been following me, you know I believe in data collection and how it can be beneficial to us in all areas of our lives.  In regards to behavior, this has been essential to us understanding our son’s behavior and what effects it.  We track his progress socially, behaviorally, and academically.  Journaling, goal setting, progress reports, report cards, all help a parent understand the multiple levels of a child a better.  This is essential to know how to help your child in the school system.

Progress: know where you have been to know where you are going

2.       Review progress reports:  It is really easy to lose track of progress reports in the chaos of what comes home (or emailed from school).  But progress reports are a great way to see what your child likes, doesn’t like, struggles with, or excels at.  We need to know where we have been to know where we are going. This is a vital tool for preparing for you IEP. This is also a great way to stay in touch with teachers throughout the year.

Do your research

3.       Research IEP Goals: Typically, a month to three weeks prior to a scheduled IEP, I research IEP goals.  This is easily done using a Google search of “sample IEP reading goals” or “sample IEP math goals.”  Do this for each subject.  I cut/paste the ones I think my kid will enjoy and have success with.

Set realistic goals

4.        Be realistic: Select realistic goals.  You cannot set realistic goals without the above steps completed.  More importantly, you need to choose goals that can be accomplished in the timeframe provided, while leaving room to grow.  Have faith in the child to meet expectations and goals.  Children are resilient and can do way more than we think they are capable of.

Communication is Key

5.       Prep teachers/communicate early: Teachers are a strong voice in the meeting because they spend a lot of time with the child.  Don’t wait for an IEP to communicate your concerns, joys, and goals.  They will be more likely to advocate for the child if they believe the parents are working on the same team and not against them.  The education team will likely meet a week or two prior to your scheduled meeting.  Give the teacher your views and goals.  This will help incorporate your ideas prior to the meeting scheduled (and save you time in the long run).  I usually explain this in person and then do a follow-up email to the teacher.

Social skills are life skills

6.       Include social goals: This is really easy to forget when you are surrounded by teachers and administrators who want to focus on academics only.  But school is more than just academics.  Social goals are essential to classroom management, lunch, recess, PE, games, turn-taking, and so much more. Include social goals in the IEP and see how much your child grows both academically and as an individual.

Get a draft copy

7.       Get rough draft: Most districts will send a rough draft of their meeting home in order to streamline the meeting with the parents.  Go through this with a fine-tooth comb.  I used a highlighter system to show what I agreed with and what I did not.  I also tabbed the pages I wanted a further discussion on.  Most IEPs are lengthy, so this made it quick to refer to things for discussion and help ensure the meeting focused on the more important issues.  I also make changes.

Return the revised draft

8.       Return revised draft with your changes/edits: Return the changes you made in writing to both the teacher and school prior to the scheduled meeting.  This will ensure the school has time to make the needed changes, or prepare for why they disagree.   

Doctors and therapists understand how your child physically operates in all aspects of life

9.       Bring any medical information that supports your views: If you have a doctor’s evaluation, therapy notes, and recommendations, etc. bring them with you.  Make sure those evaluations address academic recommendations.  Some districts do not look at medical information when determining goals because they are not academic.  However, almost all those specialists, are qualified to address academic goals and likely know how to help your child the most.

Sometimes it takes an advocate to move things forward

10.   Bring and be an advocate: You know your child the best.  You are their best advocate.  Don’t be afraid to be their advocate.  The school is not always right.  Just because they are professionals, does not make them a professional regarding your child. If you disagree with a plan or part of the plan, you have the legal right as the parent to address that.  If the school does not agree with your plan (which happens a lot), it is ok to take it up to the district level.  If you do not feel you can be an advocate, invite an advocate with you who is willing to step out and address your concerns.  

Take notes

11.   Take notes: During the meeting, it is essential to take your own notes.  Multiple times things discussed to be included in the IEP were conveniently left out and official meeting minutes did not reflect the discussion.  Keep your own written record of minutes.  This will be essential as the school year goes on.  

Know your rights. Be empowered.

12.   Know your rights: Contrary to what most parents think, the school is not the final authority on an IEP.  Parents have significant rights. You can request a meeting whenever you wish.  You can join a meeting via phone/zoom.  You can invite anyone you wish to the meeting.  You have the right to agree or decline the school evaluating your child for services. In some areas, you have the right to a private education paid for by the district. You have the right to request an evaluation for services (due this prior to requesting the service and save yourself a headache). You have the right to ensure the goals and assessments are measurable. You have these rights and more.  Know them and be empowered.

Do everything in writing

13.   Do everything in writing: All requests for IEP’s and evaluations need to be done in writing.  Any time you have questions, do it in writing.  Any time you disagree with how things are being done, do so in writing.  Email is excellent for date and time stamps.  We also time-stamped and date all mailed and a student brought home correspondence.  This has saved us in multiple instances.   Legally and inter-personally this will help in preventing issues, miscommunication, and problems as the school year continue.

Keep copies of everything

14.   Keep copies of everything: This is essential.  We once had a school who was supposed to do speech therapy with our son pull the page out of his folder in order to state they did not have to provide services.  We luckily had a copy of the signed IEP on hand and were able to inform them of both their breach in contract and the following needed changes in order to avoid further issues.  Every email and mail correspondence needs to be maintained. 

IEP’s do not have to be scary.  They do take time, but ultimately, they can lead to some amazing growth in your child and in your community.

For more ideas on how to help with IEPs, take a look at my Facebook page.

6 Steps to Taking the Fear out of Finances

On By Motivate. Innovate. Relate.In finances, homeschool, money, Motivate, Special Needs3 Comments
Money is scary…not having enough is scarier.

October starts this week.  A time of ghouls, ghosts, and goblins.  Kids are discussing who to go as for Halloween – if trick-or-treating is even going to be something they can do.  Fear is abundant as we look at the last quarter of the year, fiscal health for the holidays, and the fear of sickness.  All things scary. 

This month I am hoping to tackle some of the scary things I get asked about when it comes to parenting a special. The number one questions I am asked about is what happened when we found out about the life-changing diagnosis; I recommend checking out The Moment for more on that.

Today, I am going to attempt to tackle one of the scariest things people deal with in life – finances.  This is a constant fear for most, especially as the unemployment rate rises in America. I was blessed to have parents who taught me the value of work and a dollar.  Because of these lessons, I graduated with my undergraduate degree debt-free and paid off my student loans for graduate degree 2.5 years early.

Understanding finances starts young and should be taught in all households.  A good understanding of finances will lead to less stress, less debt, and a healthier economy.

How do you teach finances to children?  It can be hard, especially if you do not feel comfortable with finances in the first place.  So here are six steps we use with our kid to help him understand finances as he gets older.

Talk to kids so they know the value of that dollar.

1.       Talk about it: One of the most common things I hear from young adults is they do not know anything about finances.  And really, why should they? We stopped teaching it in schools and 62% of America is in credit card debt with 62% of credit card debtors as college graduates! I often encounter people who explain their collection accounts, late payments, and bankruptcy due to being “young and immature.”  This is really a claim of ignorance.  If we want our children to be out of debt, we have to teach them from the get-go.  We have to let them know that food they eat costs money, that light they are using costs money, and those clothes they like cost money.  That money only comes from hard work.  There is a balance.  Talk about it.

Tell our kids they work hard when they do so it stays with them as they grow.

2.       Teach work ethic: Chores are an excellent way to teach work ethic.  Having chores for as long as I can remember, taught me to balance, allowed me to work multiple jobs in college while going to school time and a half (and having a social life), and how to creatively think through problems. Work ethic will benefit children, families, and communities.  Good work ethic is reflected in showing up on time and completing the task on time the right way with a good attitude.  This should be reflecting in their chores and school work.  Teaching these young will help ensure our children have this ingrained in them when they enter the workforce.  A good work ethic will lead to better opportunities through more recommendations, higher bonuses, and promotions. 

Giving helps set priorities and budget.

3.       Teach giving: This is essential and often left out of finance conversations. If you don’t want to give money, try volunteering. This is a great way to change perspective and priorities. Financial giving is financially sound. This helps encourage budgeting by helping you shift priorities.  We practice a 10% rule with my son.  It is an easy number mathematically for him to understand.  Whenever he gets money (for work done or as a gift), we immediately take 10% and save it for whatever he wants to give to.  Sometimes it is the church, sometimes it is the zoo, sometimes it is buying a meal for a homeless person.  He gets to pick.

Saving money is a practice.

4.       Teach saving: This one is hard for most people in our instantaneous world.  We are gratified instantly in almost all we do in the first world.  We watch as three bubbles pop up on a screen showing a response to our message. We can stream almost any movie and binge-watch entire seasons of shows.  Waiting is not something Americans, and most first-world people, are comfortable with.  Saving is something that can actually financially save you.  To help our little one, we also immediately take 10% of his money and put it into savings. This is what is used for unexpected expenses as adults (the car tire blew out or pipes blew).  This account can also be used to save for vacations, new toys, and special experiences.  Our son is saving toward a trip to Sea World to meet marine biologists and a loftier goal of adding a red panda exhibit to our local zoo. 

Give Caesar what is Cesar’s

5.       Teach taxes: As a political scientist, I find teaching this concept is really difficult.  Taxes are often taken right out of the check upfront, so when you calculate a budget, this number is very important. Taxes are designed to pay for things like that pothole-free street you drive on daily.  Taxes pay for that public library and park you enjoy taking the kids to.  Taxes pay for those firefighters who fight fires so you don’t have to.  Taxes are helpful to each community.  Taxes are paid either upfront or on tax day, but they are paid.  We teach our son this but taking 10% of his income immediately and setting it aside in a Taxes account.  This way, when he breaks something in the house (which is inevitable), the money to fix it is there.  He paid his taxes, so that glass/towel rack/doorknob, etc. he broke can be replaced.  The household tax teaches him about the income tax and where that money should go. A great resource for kids on taxes and finances is Finances 101 for Kids: Money Lessons Children Cannot Afford to Miss.

Have a budget – AND STICK TO IT

6.       Teach budgeting: Budgeting is hard.  It takes self-control and patience.  When practiced regularly, it is actually quite easy and helps prevent that dreaded debt we all hate so much.  Teaching our children this valuable tool is life-changing. Budgeting ensures you always have enough money for what you need and those things that are important for you.  It also helps you shoot for a goal.  If your hourly $10.00 job is insufficient, it gives you a goal target for where you want to be.  Below is an excel spreadsheet that we use for our kiddo that helps.  It is filled in with an example. Sometimes seeing the budget in black and white helps change a concept to concrete practice.

budgeting-for-kids-and-teensDownload

For more ideas on how to help kids become the best they can be, take a look at my Facebook page.

12 Date Night Ideas on a Budget

On By Motivate. Innovate. Relate.In family, life, love, marriage, Motivate, Special Needs2 Comments
Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

Remember those days when you first met your partner and everything in the world was seen through rose-colored glasses?  That person could do no wrong.  All you wanted was to spend every last minute with them.

Then you got married.

Then you had kids.

Then you realized being an adult requires more work, patience, and determination that you ever thought possible.

Where did all the romance go?  With the doctors’ visits, the football practices, the late-night homework sessions…oh, yeah, and the cooking, and cleaning, and the working two full-time jobs that sometimes take even more time.

This is particularly difficult for those who have children with special needs.  It takes longer to trust other people watching your kids.  If you are lucky to find someone qualified, they usually charge an arm and a leg for their services.  As one of our daycare providers in Maryland once said, “We charge more because we know we are the only ones in the area who does this.”

In the special needs’ world, it is extortion at its best sometimes.  According to MarketWatch, in America, 29% of people aged 18 to 34 are more than $500.00 in debt from overspending on dates spending an average of $1,596.00 a year on dates! Just dates.  For those math folks, that is $133.00 a month and $33.25 a week. 

Watching my parents, who married at age 16, had their first kid at 18, lost a child, had 7 more, and have gone to college (earning JD and PhDs) while raising us, I learned a successful marriage requires date night. My parents did it at least once a week – leave the kids and spend time with your spouse. So, when I married my husband, we agreed this is a requirement for our marriage too. Thank God, he agreed!

How do you find time for romance in the chaos without breaking the budget?  First – make a budget.  When you have a good budget, you can really enjoy things more.

Also, for those who qualify, look into your local Respite Care providers.  Respite care is short-term relief for primary caregivers. It can be arranged for just an afternoon or for several days or weeks. Care can be provided at home, in a healthcare facility, or at an adult day center.  We use this to help with grocery shopping, errands, prepping for holidays and so much more.

Before You Get Started

Before you get started, make sure you are scheduling this and putting it on the calendar. This is a priority. Then take turns planning them – surprise each other. Use this time to talk to each other (not about work, kids, or household). No excuses – date night is a priority. Never make excuses outside date night. I promise you date nights in your marriage will help you in parenting, relationships, and life in general.

Here are 12 creative no cost dates that helped our marriage cultivate instead of breaking our budget:

Without a sitter

1.       Movie and Wine: When we first married, this was a great one!  We would move the couch out of the way, lay down some pillows and blankets, and start a fire.  The lights low, the cozy setting was perfectly matched with our favorite wine and a good movie. It is important the movie is something you both can enjoy.  Some of our favorites are The Princess Bride, The Greatest Showman, Ghostbusters, Back to the Future series, and Indiana Jones series. ***This is great because you get to talk to each other during the movie without bothering anyone else. Talking is essential.

2.       Craft night: This is one of my favorites! My husband got me a subscription craft kit for Christmas.  Instead of doing the craft alone, he does them with me.  We like Adults and Crafts.  For $33.00 a month, we get everything we need for a great date night.  Once the kids are in bed, we enjoy time creating together.  The nice thing about this date night is it can happen over multiple days sometimes.  Certain crafts require setting/drying time, so date night becomes date weekend.

3.       Themed movie marathons: This is a fun one that can also extend beyond the single night.  We like to do movie marathons.  Movies with sequels are great, but you are not limited to just this.  We did a marathon of watching all Disney Animated movies in order.  Our next one will be to watch all their live-action movies in order.  This is also a great time to binge your favorite shows! This is great because it lets link back to our childhood, and often springs great conversation. ***This is great because you get to talk to each other during the movie without bothering anyone else. Talking is essential.

Video Game Date Night

4.       Play video games: So many times, I hear wives complain their husband spends his time playing video games instead of investing in them.  Use this.  Before I met my husband, I did not know video games had stories…like movies!  Apparently, they do – and some are really interesting.  Husbands, play the stories.  Wives, watch the story (and your beau) conqueror all cheering him on.  Not interested in the story, I paint or do a craft while listening sometimes.  I am with my spouse, participating with him, and learning more about him. 

5.       Game night: This sounds like a cliché, but there is truth in this.  Games have the power of sparking great conversation, building trust, and bringing the gift of laughter.  We particularly like this night when we find new or unusual games (but the classic Sorry, Boggle, Scrabble, and Chess is just as good).  Some of our favorite games are Shut the Box, Liars Dice, Vertell’s, and Qiddler. 

6.       Read books: I am an avid reader as it is, but it is so much more fun reading with my hubby.  I like things like novels where he likes ghost stories.  We have both really enjoyed historical pieces as well. This often has given us ideas for travel, routines, and date nights.   We often switch between the two.  Or, my favorite is when we start with his ghost stories and finish with my devotional or scripture reading. 

Karaoke dates = silly and fun, laughter guaranteed

7. Karaoke: There is something special about getting crazy in front of a mic with your special someone. No matter your skill level, this is a great date. Not ready to show off in public, show off in the safety of your living room with those you trust the most. Laughter is guaranteed no matter what on this date.

With a sitter

Movies and dinner are great.  But search out happy hours, Taco Tuesdays, and specials first.  The occasional, movie, fancy restaurant and trampoline park are great.  But do not make these the go-to.

Coffee or brew date open mic is great

8.       Coffee/Brew dates: These are so much fun and cost as little as $5.00 a person. We like to find a local brew company or coffee shop and enjoy the local fare.  This is great for nights that have trivia or open mic. If nothing else, it is cheap entertainment supporting the local small businesses in the community to reminisce about for years to come.  

Painting with a twist for date night

9.       Painting with a Twist: This is a great night out as a couple.  Creating art (with someone to help if needed) and some wine/beer of your choice.  You both get to be a little goofy and come home with a souvenir at the end.  This is usually a splurge night for us as a couples event can range from $15.00 per person to $50.00.  It is best to look in advance to ensure you like what is being taught to make in advance. We especially like to do this on fundraising nights as we know the proceeds help a local non-profit.

Dinner out with the hubby

10.       Dinner at a bar: This can also be a splurge night.  But we like to go during happy hours and specials.  With the right happy hour and special, we can spend less than $50.00 in total.  This is a great way to sample new places.  It is also fun to re-enact the first date or enjoy the simple pleasure of trying something new on the menu together.

Outdoor dates are great – tandem bike riding, hiking, fishing

11.   Fishing/hiking: We love the adventure of the outdoors.  A great hike (even in the winter with some hot chocolate) or sitting on the side of the bank with a book while he fishes are perfection. This FREE activity lends itself to experiencing nature, getting much-needed vitamin D, and feeling like you accomplished something together. Fish at the end of the day is also a great FREE meal.

A walk on the beach with your special someone

12.   Beach day: There is something about the sound of the waves crashing onto the sand that brings a peace in the sole.  The sun, surf, and sand are a great way to get out and be silly.  We like to pitch a tent and then enjoy playing in the water, watching dolphins, and building sandcastles. 

13.   Bonus Sex: I debated putting this here, but I think it is vital to all marriages.  All marriages.  Going too long without sex is detrimental to the foundation of the marriage.  Many marriage counselors, pastors, and your parents (who are still together after decades of marriage) will all say sex is essential to the relationship.  Sex reinforces the foundation, reconnects intimacy, rebuilds, and strengthens relationships and so much more! For more on this, check out this great article on healthy sex in marriage, and this article on why married sex is the best sex.

10 Steps to Teaching Responsibility and a Peaceful Household

On By Motivate. Innovate. Relate.In homeschool, Independence, inspire, Motivate, motivation, Special Needs3 Comments
Photo by Gustavo Fring on Pexels.com

I had a very interesting conversation with some parents a little bit ago.  They came over for dinner and heard me ask my child to do the dishes.  Their jaws dropped! 

“You have him do the dishes?!” They asked in astonishment. 

“Yes.  He has chores around the house.” 

“Wait.  He has more than doing the dishes?  What else does he have to do?”

“Oh, clean his room and bathroom, feed the animals, pick up the dog poop, and fold and put away his laundry.”

“I think that is too much! He is a kid.  Kids should be out playing and being creative.  Their job is school and that is where it should end.”

To which I graciously responded.  “You are right.  He is a kid.  For this short time, I have him, I am responsible for teaching him how the real world works.  I have a full-time job as well.  Then I teach him home school and take care of his social and health obligations.  My house still needs cleaning, the laundry still needs to be done, and the dishes still need to be cleaned.  Simply because I have a job that does not change the responsibilities at home.  We have chosen to teach our son that as a family who resides in the same household, we all have responsibilities and must contribute.”

They sat in contemplative silence for the next five minutes and then agreed.

So, how do you teach responsibilities?  What is too much?  Where is the balance?  Here are 10 easy steps to taking the work out of teaching work responsibilities. 

1)      Whose Responsibility? It is important to not just teach how chores are done but whose responsibility things are.  For example, as a kid, I learned multiple instruments.  If I forgot my instrument for band practice, I was not allowed to call my parents to bring it for me.  They had full-time jobs as well.  I remember my mother saying to us when we forgot our homework/backpack/coat/instrument/etc. “Whose homework? Whose responsibility?”  Boy, did we hate hearing that!  She was right.  We do our children no favors when we come in to save the day every time they mess up and forget.  This does not mean never be that hero (life circumstance often teaches us we need help from others), but we should not make it the norm.  Let them learn and grow.

Photo by Gustavo Fring on Pexels.com

2)      Chores, Chores, Chores:  No one likes chores.  Don’t fool yourself. You don’t even like chores.  They are a part of life, that also teaches us to work ethic, responsibility, and diligence.  Check out the downloadable document below on Age Appropriate Chores for Children published in 2013 for a place to start. (Thank you, Pastor Lisa for making this great resource available.).  Remember, each child is different and has different needs.  This is just a guideline. We also introduced one chore at a time so our son could perfect before he got overwhelmed.

chores-for-children-2Download
Photo by Gustavo Fring on Pexels.com

3)      Planning: Weekly I try to get some idea of the menu for the week.  Or at least when I get the grocery shopping done.  Sometimes, I am just out of ideas.  This is a great place to have children help and teach responsibility.  Let your kids help plan (and cook) a meal.  They will love being involved and usually will like to eat what they make (for you picky eaters out there).  Let them help at the grocery store.  Teach them how to pick produce, how to get the cheapest item or the best quality for your money.  Give them a budget for their “impulse buys” they will undoubtedly ask for it. Start the conversation on money and taking care of the groceries – a life skill they will need for the rest of their lives.

Photo by Elly Fairytale on Pexels.com

4)      Kids Help Kids: For those with multiple children, use this opportunity to develop leadership.  Let older kids help younger kids learn things like how to tie shoes, or send them on an errand together to pick something up.  Kids learn a lot from older siblings and teammates.  Use this to teach generationally.

Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

5)      Play-dates: I know it is really easy to want to be present at all playdates all the time.  But this is just no necessary.  It is ok and good to leave your children with a trusted adult.  If you trust the parent, and it is age-appropriate, leave your child to have fun without you.  This helps build confidence in children.  Knowing Mom and Dad trust you to make good choices without them is empowering to them.  But more importantly, it gives them real-world experiences.  Not one house is the same, not one human is the same.  This opens the door to some really wonderful conversations.

6)      Volunteer: Generation Z is known for a passion for social justice.  But, they are also known for not following through.  They were taught the issues and a passion was ignited.  But they were not taught the practicality of the hard work, critical thinking, and diligence it takes to make a change.  Simply posting a meme on social media does not change make.  Teaching volunteering gets to the root of this problem. Volunteering showcases need, teaches work ethic, dependability, and commitment.  It also allows the first-hand experience of need, bureaucracy, and politics.  All those things play large roles in adult life.  Teaching volunteering at a young age starts a healthy foundation for these areas that can easily become toxic later if not healthy discussed.

Photo by Kaboompics .com on Pexels.com

7)      Students keep track of their own work and test: It is great to know about your child’s schoolwork.  But their work is not your work.  You already went to school.  You already know it.  Don’t do their work for them.  Set them up to succeed.  We use this great Student Smart Planner Academic Planner (I use the Wordsworth Goal Setting Planner for myself) for our home school (it has places for long term projects, schedules, grade tracking, and monthly and weekly calendars).  For younger kids, this is a great planner as well. For those in school, we used a checklist morning and night for our son to know what was needed each morning and what was completed. 

8)      Organize your own schedule: Today in America we are socially judged by the number of activities our child is in.  We are told kids need perfect grades and extracurriculars out the ears to get to college. Our kids are tired, stressed out, and overwhelmed.  A great documentary on this is Race to Nowhere.  Let’s give our children the power to decide what extracurriculars they do – if any.  Some kids might need extra time for school.  Some kids might want three or four a week.  Some might just want to do one thing they can learn to do really well.  Let’s stop making Jack-of-all-trades-and-masters-of-none.

9)      Independent Thinkers: Kids need to learn how to think – not just memorize facts.  Set them to succeed in this by encouraging independent and critical thinking.  Let them learn about themselves and how they learn.  ReadTheory helps kids in reading comprehension, Learning Styles is a great place to learn about how your child learns.  When you know how you learn, you equip yourself with the ability to better learn the more difficult skills and academics.

10)   Entertain Yourself: You are a parent – not a Hollywood movie star or singer-songwriter.  You were charged with raising compassionate, intelligent children into wonderful adults.  You were not charged with being your child’s friend, entertainment, and all-around everything.  Release yourself of that stress.  Teach you, child, to entertain themselves.  This is critically important to brain development, social play, and creative and critical thinking.  It is also entertaining to you as a parent to see what they come up with.

Starting Home School? Here Are 10 Great Curriculums

On By Motivate. Innovate. Relate.In homeschool, Motivate, Special NeedsLeave a comment
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This week I have had a significant amount of requests to discuss homeschool.  Questions like “How do you homeschool while working?  What curriculum do you use? How do you socialize your child?” and so many more have poured int.  I will not answer all of them here (in August I will be focusing on the daily tricks for homeschoolers).  Today I will focus on curriculums.

With changes in education due to COVID-19, a lot of parents are really considering homeschool.    It is not an easy choice (even without the pandemic).  If you are anything like me, you wonder if you will be a good enough teacher?  Will your child fall behind in academics, social skills, and emotional development?

The good news is there is so much good news! 

Homeschooling is not new to the world.  In fact, for most of human history, parents taught children or tutors came to houses (if you could afford it).  You know your child better than anyone, so you know where they struggle the most and where they can just breeze through.  You can essentially create your own IEP (Individualized Education Plan) for each of your children.  As my mom used to say, we have “different children with different needs.”

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

  SOCIALIZATION

The first major concern is socialization.  I get that.  It was a big one for me.  I will talk more about that next month.  For those who have worked with me in editing or social media marketing, you know how much I value data.  I have even used data in helping with behavior challenges with my own kid. 

As any good data analysis would do, the first thing I did in answering that question was to track how much socialization my child actually got in school (note, this was done when my son was in elementary school).  My son left the house at 7:30 on a bus and came back at 3:00.  When I learned he was not allowed to talk on the bus, I removed any transportation time from the social component.  Lunch was 20 minutes and the recess was 15.  There was no talking allowed in hallways.  And interactive work with children in the classroom had significantly declined – other than 1 class project a week, my son was learning next to and not with his peers.  Taking all that into consideration, as well as really speaking with his teachers, my son was really only allowed to socialized 30 to 45 minutes a day.  With home school, that increases so much with play dates, co-ops, small groups, sports, and so much more. 

Photo by Dominika Roseclay on Pexels.com

 CURRICULUMS

There are so many curriculums out there.  And the best part of home school, is you do not have to pick and choose.  If your child is a verbal learner, there are curriculums for that.  A visual learner?  There are curriculums for that.  Learns kinesthetically?  There are curriculums for that.  There are so many, we actually mix and match for our son.

As a researcher at heart, I spent six months reviewing and researching curriculums prior to starting homeschool.  Here are some we use, why we use them, and some we don’t but think are pretty great.  Many of the below have Facebook groups, local co-ops, and more for additional help and socialization for the kids.

1.       Time4Learning***: They are relatively inexpensive with a monthly fee of $25.00 and a military discount.  They also use a refer a friend program that helps decrease expenses.  This is a DOD approved national standard-based curriculum.  This is a great curriculum for kids with special needs.

This is our foundational curriculum.  This is great for military families that move a lot because it is national standards and teaches to that.  They have 4 foundational courses (math, science, social science, and language arts). Their curriculum is interactive, game, and video-based teaching a variety of methods to problem-solving.  They also have built-in Time4Fun (recess of fun games) and the app is mobile so it can be done anywhere.

As I work from home, and reports are due to the school district, I particularly like the freedom this curriculum gives me to work.  It has so many tools for reports (attendance, duration in class, scores, etc.)  It allows me to input the amount of time a week, length of the school year, and pick and choose what I think is appropriate for the mental development of my child.  It then plans the school year for me allowing to change the plan at any time to add in breaks, modify curriculum, and more.

This curriculum also allows my son to have a bit more control of his learning by giving weekly or daily assignments and checklists.

2.       Easy Peasy: This is a completely FREE (yes, FREE) curriculum.  They recommend a once-yearly $15.00 donation, but even without the donation, you can still use the curriculum.  This is a Christian based curriculum. This has all basic subjects as well as Bible, computer, PE, music, Art, Critical Thinking and so much more.  They offer Spanish as a language for middle school.  (Time4Learning does offer Rosetta stone at any level, but it costs a bit more). This is our supplemental program. 

This curriculum also has cash prize contests for writing and science.  For those who want to simulate science fairs and excellent writing, this is a great way to help develop those skills with a great incentive!

3.       Adventure Academy:  This is a fun exploration web-based learning curriculum.  They allow the learner to take some control of their learning process.  I have not used this curriculum, but I like what is offered.  This allows for a more social learning environment by allowing the learner to create their own aviator and work with other online learners.  They are currently having a sale of 49% off the subscription – which drops this curriculum down to approximately $10.00 a month.  It is super fun!  This is interactive and has a lot of visual components. 

4.       Abeka: Based out of Pensacola Christian College, Pensacola, FL, this Christian based curriculum is used throughout the country and states both in homeschool and private schools.  This curriculum has all basic foundation classes, reading, and Bible.  They offer video lessons and standardized testing!  Depending on your state requirements, that can be an essential factor.  This one is more expensive ($100s to over a grand a year and increases with each grade).  HOWEVER, they offer flexible pricing, accredited contents, and for those in high school, a DIPLOMA.  That diploma will essential for those military families using the GI bill for their kids. 

5.       Classical Conversations: The basis of this Christian based curriculum based out of Southern Pines, NC is trifold: Classical, Christian, Community.  The community that comes along with this curriculum is great for those worried about socialization. As you move to high school, the success on the SAT and ACT for those who use this curriculum is high.  For middle school and high school, they offer trained tutors once a week.  This is a great curriculum for kids with special needs! This curriculum grows both the social community and the independent investment for kids.  If you are a working parent, the requirement for in-person get-togethers may be a challenge, but definitely worth looking at.  If you cannot due the community part, you can still access their bookstore with great resources!

6.       Liberty University Online Academy: This Christian based curriculum is fantastic.  This one is pricey, but offers family discounts, military discounts, and payment plans.  They offer structured and customizable learning plans, around the clock access to the curriculum and certified teachers.  This curriculum does offer dual enrollment for up to 60 college credits.  This is something to consider if your state does not offer this.  Dual enrollment has the ability to let your child graduate high school with an associate degree as well!  This curriculum also allows your student to graduate with a diploma recognized nationwide!

7.       Duoling: This is not a curriculum, but a FREE learning resource.  This teaches almost any language with an interactive online environment.  Learning a language at a young age can help with communication, critical thinking, and socialization.  This free program sends weekly progress reports and daily reminders to practice.  With built in incentives of rewards and trophies (much like a video game), this allows your child to move at their own pace.  We do use this, but we do not grade our son on this.   

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8.       Supplemental Learning: I am an avid reader and believe, like Albert Einstein and Abraham Lincoln, that learning is done through reading. For those of you who follow my son’s amazing history, you know reading taught him to speak.  In addition to the above, we incorporate state level reading into our year.  This is approximately ten books a year.  The book is read, a paper is written and a project is done.  Projects have included everything from building Lego diagrams and book reports to writing a play.  This is usually a month-long process, so my son learns how to executive plan at the same time.  

9.       Unschooling: This is a relatively new idea.  This allows teaching children based on their interests and not following a curriculum.  This is often termed “natural learning” or “independent learning.”  This is not a curriculum, not a method, but a way of looking at children and life.  A great example of this is the movie Captain Fantastic about a family that homeschooled their children in the wood.  (Do not watch this with your young kids; this is rated R and has adult themes).  This type of “curriculum” is an opportunity for you as a parent to educate your child in the way you think is best. 

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10.   Tutors: Yes, tutors still exist. They are also great resources throughout the education of your child. A quick google search will generate thousands of results for tutors near you.  A lot of homeschool curriculums offer tutors, but if you choose one without that and need one for your child, this is a great resource to consider.  Prices will range with each depending on course work, grade level, frequency and more. This is a great resource to have in your back pocket as your children get older as well.

The best part about homeschooling is that it is fluid.  What works for one child might not work for another.  What worked one year might not work the next.  There are so many options out there.  You do not need to feel stuck in one curriculum ever.  Do what works for your family.

Know too, that this is a change for your family.  Anticipate growing pains for everyone.  Give yourself GRACE.  No one expects you to be perfect.  We don’t expect teachers who go to school for years of getting trained to do this to be perfect.  Teaching your kids will be hard (teaching anyone is).  I have a teacher friend who once told me, “I love teaching, but there is NO WAY I could teach my own kids.”  That is a teacher.  Teaching your children is not without challenges.  But, picking a curriculum should not be one of them.

 Go forth in decision knowing you are not alone.  There are tons of communities out there to help.  Reach out to me anytime.  I would love to know how I can be of better service.

*****As a member of Time4Learning, I have been given the opportunity to review their program and share my experiences. While I was compensated, this review was not written or edited by Time4Learning and my opinion is entirely my own. For more information, check out their standards-based curriculum or learn how to write your own curriculum review.